Dual....:-)
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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