yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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