the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
