Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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