He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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