you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
