4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
