I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
