Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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