im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
