So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
