dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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