Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
