Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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