Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
