Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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