Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
