some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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