I think my vagina is haunted
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
