Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
