That's intense
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
