I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
