Non-Jews are for practice
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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