yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
