I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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