11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
