What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
