girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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