I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Randomize
