but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Holy shit dude........stairs
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
