Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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