Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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