Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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