oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
