Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
