I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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