if i died would you start the facebook group?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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