Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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