i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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