6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
