Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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