he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
