Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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