ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
