just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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