I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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