Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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