I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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