I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
