you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
