Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
