I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
