I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
