Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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